One of my good friends (who is currently transitioning to natural) and I were discussing the great styles she can't wait to wear as her hair grows longer and when she eventually cuts off her relaxed ends. As we were talking she did tell me that her greatest concern with being natural was the fear that she'll have to be put into some type of "box" and even more importantly that she will be attacked by natural hair Nazis (figuratively of course). I wasn't really sure what she was talking about so she explained...
"I know you blog but I don't want people to feel as if they know more about my hair than I do. I don't want to feel like I have to prove my naturalness by buying certain products, wearing certain styles and doing things to my hair that people feel like I have to do when I cut it off. I don't want to feel like I have to follow certain blogs and videos to make sure i'm doing the right thing. Cause I feel like people make it their mission to make sure everyone does it their way cause they think they know best. Hair's cool but it's the least of my worries."
I understand exactly how she feels. And I think a lot of newly naturals/transitioners/those considering going natural, feel that way too. I've definitely had people try and tell me what to do and not to do at the beginning and even now. Within my first year of being natural folk critized my obsession with long term protective styles, my use of cheap products with sulfates/mineral oil/patrolum and all the "bad stuff" we are suppose to avoid. my use of pricey products, and washing my hair weekly. I know they were just trying to help and spit wisdom on my behalf, but sometimes their advice was mistaken for lecturing, and who wants to be lectured about hair??? I don't. And I'll definitely be honest. In the past I've been guilty of giving the side eye to some of the products my friends use in their hair. But at the end of the day when anyone who ask me what I use and what they should use I ALWAYS say,
1. Things work differently for every person
2. What works for me may not work for you at all
3. Experiment with different products, styles, tools and techniques until you find what works for you
4. You don't have to spend beaucoups of ducketts to have great results
5. DO YOU BOO! If hot sauce and ginger ale leaves your hair moisturized, shiny and silky smooth, you betta hit up a Costco and stock up!
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But in all seriousness as much of a movement natural hair has seemed to become it really is what YOU put into it. You don't have to follow blogs, set up a youtube account, or go to a meet up to consider yourself "natural". Don't feel as if you have to make a blog showing your journey either. No one is asking that you blog about the different things that affect and take place in your life. You probably don't have a blog of what you eat everyday, the modes of transportation you take to work or the types of different newspaper articles you read daily. But if you do that's great!
The reason I started this blog was so I could watch my journey to healthy, long hair. It's what I'm interested in and it's what I choose to do. It was never about telling people what they should and should not do to their hair. It was created as a rexource of ideas, suggestions, methods and personal musings of not just me but anyone who wants to contribute. And so far it's been amazing! I hope no one has felt like I've "lectured" and if you have I do aplogize. That was never the intent and i'll make sure to keep that from happening in the future.
But anyway as always I love your feedback and remember although it is just hair, You have the right to be as engaged as you want to be when it comes to it. Don't let anyone discourage you or make you feel as if you're not doing it right. The only right way is your way. Period.
*Happy Hair Days*
=D
